Believing that stuff will make you happy is a terrible idea. It gives stuff all the power and then you feel powerless and act like a control freak trying to make sure the stuff (the cause for your happiness) doesn’t go away, doesn’t change and doesn’t do anything you don’t’ want it to. Trust me, if you aren’t happy before you win the lottery, get the gold medal or find the husband you wont be happy when you do. Its not the stuff that makes you happy. SHIFT into thinking that it’s the way YOU think about the stuff.
If you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up whatever you do, don’t listen to your friends, parents and especially not the media. Instead of believing everyone else, believe yourself! Every one of us has an intuition about what would make us feel useful and full-filled and the only person that knows what that is is YOU! Your soul will never steer you wrong. SHIFT into trusting your instincts and strive to make yourself proud!
Don’t beat yourself up for decisions you made in the past. Let yourself off the hook. Know that you did the best you could at the time with what you knew then. SHIFT from persecuting your past self to appreciating what you learned. Ultimately, it will all work out until then give yourself a break and be kind to yourself.
It is not heroic to take someone’s struggle away. It is not mean to let someone work out their issues on their own. Letting your children whine and fall down and figure it out for themselves is how they grow and learn. Letting your friend dig their way out the hole they find themselves in allows them to build strength. If you rob someone of their opportunity to build strength and prove to themselves that they can do it, they will never know that they can. SHIFT from “savior” to encouraging witness.
SHIFT from avoiding failure to embracing it. Inventors, great athletes and innovative geniuses fail over and over and over, it is the only way to success. You will get the job because you failed at the 7 previous interviews. You will get the new business because you messed up with the 11 previous accounts. Get out there and fail, fail miserably, fail flat on your face and then when you pick yourself up and finally succeed it will be because you have succeed at failing!
We often believe that relief will come when we can make sense of it; when the perpetrators are caught and there is “justice”, when the divorce is finalized or the claim is paid in full however the pain remains. True relief comes with time. Growing pains subside when you are done growing. Abandon the idea that an action or an outcome will bring relief. SHIFT away from the idea that you will be comforted by anything other than living through it. Live your way into the answer.
To create a new life you must deal with your past. Which means letting go of your old pain. Pain needs to be felt to be dealt with so you can move on. SHIFT into allowing it to come to the surface. Once you release the pain you will no longer be subconsciously influenced by it. If you don’t know how to access it or if it is buried really deep you may need a therapist to help. When the pain surfaces shamelessly feel it it won’t t stick around forever, it will go away if you let it.
Ever been afraid to start something, like kindergarten or college or a job or ya know anything new? Fear is always the first step. Balzac said it best,“Our worst fears lie in anticipation.” Fear like failure should not be avoided SHIFT into embracing it as the first step. When you get going you will see that there was nothing to to be afraid of, you’ll see that fear dissipates with action! Fear goes away when you begin but the trick is YOU have to begin!
You know the people who wear their suffering like a badge of honor? You know the type who wants special dispensation for all the horrible things they’ve been through or maybe that is you. If so, I am sorry to report that there is no prize at the end of life for suffering. Misery loves company and so does joy but you have to SHIFT away from victimhood and take an active part in finding what brings YOU joy. We attract what we focus on so find what brings you joy and do more and more of it.
Your amazing mood, the good hair day and the pile of paid bills is not permanent. Neither is your pain, grief and fear. There is one constant and that is change. No matter what it is, just wait a bit and it will change. The grapes will sour, life will become sweeter and YOU will change whether you like it or not, it is the way of nature. From the tides that stir our oceans to the ground beneath our feet, everything around us was designed to move – the world was created to SHIFT and so are you!