We all have our own ideas of what success looks like. No, scratch that… Some of us have our own ideas and some of us follow what our families have modeled or what we imagine society demands. How can you know if your definition of success is your very own or someone else’s?
Here are a few questions to know if you are following your own compass-
- Do you make decisions based on what your friends would do?
- Do you strive to be like your idol?
- Do you believe that what you want isn’t right so you opt instead for what your family wants?
- Do you need everyone’s approval but even when you get it you aren’t happy?
- Do you think that societies standards are normal and well within reach?
- Do you achieve societal goals (ie; going to grad school or buying a fancy car) but feel unsatisfied?
- Do you create your goals or does someone else?
- Do you accomplish goals to please someone else?
- Do you have your own definition of success?
You may find that you don’t have your own definition of success. You may have ended up at a destination that doesn’t feel like yours because you have been following someone else’s compass. You may realize that you have been trying to please everyone else. After you realize that….after the sting wears off….you will be motivated to start pleasing yourself and that is where I come in.
As a Life & Career Coach, I ask clients what their definition of success is and if it serves them? If it doesn’t I ask them to think about where it came from and how they would like to change it. I encourage you to do the same, ask yourself, “What would make me proud?” (Not what would make your sister proud). “What would make me happy?” (Not what would make your boss happy) and “What does success look like?” (Not what success looks like on TV)
Step 1– Create your own definition of success! From that definition, a vision of what you want your life to look like will emerge.
Step 2– Create goals to make your vision come true. Goal by goal your vision will become a reality.
Your definition of success is your destination. Your goals are the compass that will help you find your way. If you follow someone else’s compass you won’t get where you want to go. If you create your own you’ll never be lost.